you guys were way drunker than both of me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
