Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
