We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
