he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
