dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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