I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
