Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
