well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
