i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
