He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
