I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
