Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
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they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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