My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
