Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You've changed since you got that strap on
He shit in the fireplace
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
