Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize