I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
