I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
