haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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