i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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