No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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