i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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