Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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