As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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