I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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