i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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