went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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