I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Someone shit on the floor
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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