butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
