im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize