Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have feelings that need drinking.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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