today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
