Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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