thanks...oh and i got my period
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!