Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.