It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
