so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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