This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
