Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize