I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize