i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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