I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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