On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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