Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They took my balls.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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