I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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