they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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