I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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