...so i touched it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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