Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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