Non-Jews are for practice
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
