I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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