While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
