so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
