Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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