Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
