I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
