He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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