I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
