He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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