your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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