So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
